It's that time of year again, when a cloud-less sky breaks into showers right when you want to look at the next available house. House-hunting and bin badal barsaat go hand in hand. Their cosmic connection ensures that the more tired you are and the more helpless you feel, the more heavy is the downpour.
The rain gods have proved me right twice this time, but both times the showers, instead of dampening my spirits, lifted my soul to the skies so that I could personally thank the heavens for being there, and reducing the heat generated by the numerous disappointments.
I've seen all kinds of places this time, in all parts of Delhi...nope, I missed out on North Delhi I guess.
There were houses I looked for in the South, in the East and in the West, and each more unsuitable than the other. One was so cramped, there was no place even for my breath to rest. Another was one was so exorbitant, it was funny...and the broker showed me the house even though it was double my budget. He just wanted me to appreciate his sense of aesthetics and judgement! He's yet to show me the place he insists is the perfect one for me. There'll be another post on this blog once that revelation is made.
Oh! and of course, the number of property dealers who convinced me there are NO 1BHKs (one bedroom, hall, kitchen...and yes, the bathroom is also included) in Rajinder Nagar. Would like to locate at least ten just to spite them :)
And yes, the ringtones one encounters while househunting is amazing. There's always at least one Om Jai Jagdish Hare and one Gayathri mantra. But this time, there was a Hey! Mr Bomb too. And it belonged to this dealer, who I really wished lived up to his name — Lucky M. But unfortunately, he was quite unlucky for me.
And there was Amma, who was into this business so she could earn enough for davai-daru. This information shocked an Americanised South Indian also househunting with me...He tried to appear as discreet as possible when he enquired, "Does she mean she drinks liquor?"
That was something to keep me smiling through a hopeless round of looking at houses that were available until two days before my urgent need materialised.
But so it is with househunting as it is with everything in life. Things happen only when that wise guy up there wants it to happen. And for those who snigger and wonder why I'm going through all this trouble when I'll get the house only when I'm destined to, here's a piece of wisdom I've totally imbibed by now: God helps those who help themselves.
Maybe a few prayers would help hasten the miracle that I know is coming my way!
Saturday, 2 August 2008
Saturday, 26 July 2008
Sunday, 6 July 2008
Brushstrokes
There’s a blank canvas in front of me
Urging me to colour it with my words.
I oblige
But I know not the hues that spill out onto it
Playing with the virgin whiteness in front of me
Staining it with thoughts that have no meaning
Scarring it with words that have no weight
I indulge
For the sake of this canvas
And for the sake of another canvas
That lies hidden somewhere deeper down,
I explore
Knowing not where this exercise is taking either of us…
The canvas
Or me.
But does it matter? After all when life and death doesn’t matter,
When love and loved ones don’t matter
Where intangible things called religion and caste matter more
Where honour has a price more dear than two living hearts and bodies
Where a death is worth a column of space and
And a celebrity wedding or kiss means more than The limbs a poor child lost for a measly Rs 50.
How does it matter if one more soul is moving along misguided and aimless
In search of eternal peace and eluding happiness
In faith that this is the best there is
For the canvas and the painter;
How then does anything matter beyond the here and now,
Beyond the meaningless words that have covered this vastness
Have clothed this naked page with their own inadequacies
Or does it matter?
The answer my friend isn’t blowin in the wind
It’s probably waiting to be painted on another eluding canvas
Where colour can penetrate thoughts and where dreams are not in black and white where life is not in grey and where paradise is closer to existence than reality is.
I succumb
To that dream
To that mirage
To that illusion
And I triumph for I exist beyond the rainbow and beyond the tiny letters stringed together on this line and hung out to dry.
And I live
And I love
And I lose
And I win.
Urging me to colour it with my words.
I oblige
But I know not the hues that spill out onto it
Playing with the virgin whiteness in front of me
Staining it with thoughts that have no meaning
Scarring it with words that have no weight
I indulge
For the sake of this canvas
And for the sake of another canvas
That lies hidden somewhere deeper down,
I explore
Knowing not where this exercise is taking either of us…
The canvas
Or me.
But does it matter? After all when life and death doesn’t matter,
When love and loved ones don’t matter
Where intangible things called religion and caste matter more
Where honour has a price more dear than two living hearts and bodies
Where a death is worth a column of space and
And a celebrity wedding or kiss means more than The limbs a poor child lost for a measly Rs 50.
How does it matter if one more soul is moving along misguided and aimless
In search of eternal peace and eluding happiness
In faith that this is the best there is
For the canvas and the painter;
How then does anything matter beyond the here and now,
Beyond the meaningless words that have covered this vastness
Have clothed this naked page with their own inadequacies
Or does it matter?
The answer my friend isn’t blowin in the wind
It’s probably waiting to be painted on another eluding canvas
Where colour can penetrate thoughts and where dreams are not in black and white where life is not in grey and where paradise is closer to existence than reality is.
I succumb
To that dream
To that mirage
To that illusion
And I triumph for I exist beyond the rainbow and beyond the tiny letters stringed together on this line and hung out to dry.
And I live
And I love
And I lose
And I win.
Wednesday, 2 April 2008
Listen, someone's calling
Make God Your Guru
Let Him Tell You What To Do
Listen, He's Calling Clear and True
Take Time To Listen, Take Courage To Obey
The Inner Voice Is Calling Calling You
There's an echo all around me. People telling me what they think is the best thing; how they feel a predicament should be solved. They remind me without fail that it's ultimately my decision, probably afraid that they push me to believing something I don't think I believe in. But that's the vulnerability of an advice. It's so right for someone and could wreak havoc in someone else's life.
But at some point it so essential, at least for me, it's sacred. With all the voices around me growing from a distant hum into a cacophony, I begin to discern a whisper. With a little effort and introspection, this whisper emerges out of the shadow of my soul and becomes the most prominent strain in the music of decision making. It hangs around even when you try pushing it away and just grows louder until you can't deny its existence anymore. It forces you to listen to it and drums itself on the windowpane of your heart. It wants to come out into the world of reality and wants to be implemented. It's an insistent voice, and I believe, it's my inner voice. Sometimes I choose to follow it, sometimes I don't. But I can never ignore it. So, when I want to rebel, I simply acknowledge its presence and trick it, buying time or better still, justifying my actions. And it just slinks to a dark corner, waiting to reprimand me when my time has come, eager to tell me: See? I told you so.
And then, I just say thanx and let it rule me, trampling over my emotions, my sentiments and my very existence. But the thanx is also for being allowed to live my life as I pleased, to having chosen my boundaries and crossing them, to have let myself return when I chose and from where I thought was THE END.
And the thanx is due for all the voices that build the echo through which my inner voice struggles to make itself heard and followed, till THE VERY END.
Let Him Tell You What To Do
Listen, He's Calling Clear and True
Take Time To Listen, Take Courage To Obey
The Inner Voice Is Calling Calling You
There's an echo all around me. People telling me what they think is the best thing; how they feel a predicament should be solved. They remind me without fail that it's ultimately my decision, probably afraid that they push me to believing something I don't think I believe in. But that's the vulnerability of an advice. It's so right for someone and could wreak havoc in someone else's life.
But at some point it so essential, at least for me, it's sacred. With all the voices around me growing from a distant hum into a cacophony, I begin to discern a whisper. With a little effort and introspection, this whisper emerges out of the shadow of my soul and becomes the most prominent strain in the music of decision making. It hangs around even when you try pushing it away and just grows louder until you can't deny its existence anymore. It forces you to listen to it and drums itself on the windowpane of your heart. It wants to come out into the world of reality and wants to be implemented. It's an insistent voice, and I believe, it's my inner voice. Sometimes I choose to follow it, sometimes I don't. But I can never ignore it. So, when I want to rebel, I simply acknowledge its presence and trick it, buying time or better still, justifying my actions. And it just slinks to a dark corner, waiting to reprimand me when my time has come, eager to tell me: See? I told you so.
And then, I just say thanx and let it rule me, trampling over my emotions, my sentiments and my very existence. But the thanx is also for being allowed to live my life as I pleased, to having chosen my boundaries and crossing them, to have let myself return when I chose and from where I thought was THE END.
And the thanx is due for all the voices that build the echo through which my inner voice struggles to make itself heard and followed, till THE VERY END.
Thursday, 27 December 2007
Good things happen to good people!
Some people think good things happen to good people. So I'm good I guess, because I've lost my cellphone twice and got it back both times.
Once I left my cell in an autorickshaw in Chennai. The minute the auto sped off I realised my loss and let go of my tears. I tried calling my number, but the phone was switched off. There was nothing else to do except call up amma and tell her of my great misadventure!
My mom sounded cool and told me philosophically that I would get it back if I was meant to get it back. Some consolation that was!
I kept trying my number once in a while, only to hear a monotonous voice telling me that the number was unreachable.
In half an hour, my cousin, who used to work nearby rushed to my office with the information that my mom had spoken to the auto driver and that he had asked me to pick it up from his stand!!
I got back my phone after paying 100 bucks, and that too, because the other auto drivers insisted.
Not that I minded paying the sum, but I'd just like to clarify that the auto driver who had my phone was very decent about the whole thing and kept refusing the money I tried to push into his hand.
But this is not an isolated case. I've seen this happen in Delhi, too. One of my friends from college left her cellphone in an auto and it was picked up by the next person to hire the vehicle. This person, a foreigner who knew neither Hindi or English, communicated to the auto driver that he first wanted to find the phone's owner before going on his way!
A colleague of mine left her phone in an auto and missed it a good half hour later. When we finally got through to her number, the auto driver actually told her that he'd come and return it at her office in an hour's time and just asked her to pay for the distance he had to travel without a passenger!
That in Delhi!
Why I'm reminded of all these lost and found cases is because another colleague left her phone in the cab that dropped her home from office last night. The driver said he would return the cell tonight.
We're just keeping our fingers crossed...to find out if she too figures in the 'good people' list!!
But while we are waiting to be the good people that good things happen to...wonder what we'd do if we had to be those good people who did these good things to us.
Once I left my cell in an autorickshaw in Chennai. The minute the auto sped off I realised my loss and let go of my tears. I tried calling my number, but the phone was switched off. There was nothing else to do except call up amma and tell her of my great misadventure!
My mom sounded cool and told me philosophically that I would get it back if I was meant to get it back. Some consolation that was!
I kept trying my number once in a while, only to hear a monotonous voice telling me that the number was unreachable.
In half an hour, my cousin, who used to work nearby rushed to my office with the information that my mom had spoken to the auto driver and that he had asked me to pick it up from his stand!!
I got back my phone after paying 100 bucks, and that too, because the other auto drivers insisted.
Not that I minded paying the sum, but I'd just like to clarify that the auto driver who had my phone was very decent about the whole thing and kept refusing the money I tried to push into his hand.
But this is not an isolated case. I've seen this happen in Delhi, too. One of my friends from college left her cellphone in an auto and it was picked up by the next person to hire the vehicle. This person, a foreigner who knew neither Hindi or English, communicated to the auto driver that he first wanted to find the phone's owner before going on his way!
A colleague of mine left her phone in an auto and missed it a good half hour later. When we finally got through to her number, the auto driver actually told her that he'd come and return it at her office in an hour's time and just asked her to pay for the distance he had to travel without a passenger!
That in Delhi!
Why I'm reminded of all these lost and found cases is because another colleague left her phone in the cab that dropped her home from office last night. The driver said he would return the cell tonight.
We're just keeping our fingers crossed...to find out if she too figures in the 'good people' list!!
But while we are waiting to be the good people that good things happen to...wonder what we'd do if we had to be those good people who did these good things to us.
Tuesday, 11 December 2007
Is it all just about money and just about being "different"?
What happens to ethics and what happens to sensitivity?
Is it okay to numb your feelings to everything that goes on around
And just wait and watch while the world flogs a dead man?
And it's a world I am part of.
It's a world that has made me its own.
Is it very abnormal to feel this way?
Somewhere everybody is losing sense of direction.
Talk about sensation in a world where nobody nobody really feels anything.
Even a murderer can plead his case
Then why did we just hang the victim of a murder?
Or doesn't anyone care until it becomes a court case
I'm in an abyss right now.
I know I can get out when I want.
Then what am I waiting for?
Why am I jeopardising my sanity for something I don't believe in?
I am seeking answers for something that is eluding me.
I hope my search ends before life does.
And before my sense of right and wrong is numbed completely by a totally senseless, insensitive way of life.
What happens to ethics and what happens to sensitivity?
Is it okay to numb your feelings to everything that goes on around
And just wait and watch while the world flogs a dead man?
And it's a world I am part of.
It's a world that has made me its own.
Is it very abnormal to feel this way?
Somewhere everybody is losing sense of direction.
Talk about sensation in a world where nobody nobody really feels anything.
Even a murderer can plead his case
Then why did we just hang the victim of a murder?
Or doesn't anyone care until it becomes a court case
I'm in an abyss right now.
I know I can get out when I want.
Then what am I waiting for?
Why am I jeopardising my sanity for something I don't believe in?
I am seeking answers for something that is eluding me.
I hope my search ends before life does.
And before my sense of right and wrong is numbed completely by a totally senseless, insensitive way of life.
Sunday, 9 December 2007
Dis-enchantment
There seems to be a pervasive sense of disilluionment everywhere.
People without jobs are not getting the jobs they want. Those with the jobs they wanted, don't want them anymore and those who still want the jobs they have are not wanted by their employers.
At least this seems to be the general feeling among my friends. Is it just a phase of not being happy with what you have or is something wrong with the system? It seems difficult to analyse as I'm so into the situation myself.
Office politics, arguments, miscommunication, irritating colleagues, everyone seems to have a different peeve, but the bottomline is the same...the yearning to quit.
Before you ask someone about his or her job, prepare yourself to hear a earful. A spineless boss may be the problem for one or an interfering one with another. With a third, it might be too much pressure and and with a fourth, lack of responsibility.
Would swapping all these people help the cause or will there be another round of disappointment and chaos. One wonders, but it's worth an experiment, isn't it?
People without jobs are not getting the jobs they want. Those with the jobs they wanted, don't want them anymore and those who still want the jobs they have are not wanted by their employers.
At least this seems to be the general feeling among my friends. Is it just a phase of not being happy with what you have or is something wrong with the system? It seems difficult to analyse as I'm so into the situation myself.
Office politics, arguments, miscommunication, irritating colleagues, everyone seems to have a different peeve, but the bottomline is the same...the yearning to quit.
Before you ask someone about his or her job, prepare yourself to hear a earful. A spineless boss may be the problem for one or an interfering one with another. With a third, it might be too much pressure and and with a fourth, lack of responsibility.
Would swapping all these people help the cause or will there be another round of disappointment and chaos. One wonders, but it's worth an experiment, isn't it?
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